Come to us in the strength of your own love, and you will inspire us.
It’s not your job to heal us, men. You may have felt that way because it’s what you saw modeled for you. You may have been felt obliged to be sweet, or you were chastised when you failed to provide enough emotional care for a loved one in need. Or, perhaps you just were just a little too hot-headed.
But let’s get this straight.
It’s not your job to heal us.
It’s not your job to fix us.
It’s not your job to comfort us.
It’s not your job to feed us.
It’s not your job to fuck us.
It’s not your job to love us.
There is little value for us in your obligation as well as little virtue for you.
When we say we want your healing, what we really want is the chance to rise and meet you, our counterpart.
When we say we want you to fix us, what we really want is for someone to hear that sometimes our lives are harder than we feel we can face, and our burdens painful to bear.
When we say we want your comfort, what our softness inside wants is to relax into you in a world where we feel trust is rare.
When we want you to feed us, we long for a well-oiled-machine of a partnership where the natural division of labor is equitable and maybe even joyful.
When we want you to fuck us, we are saying we long for a moment of absolute cosmic bliss. The type of bliss that only the union of two present and open souls can give each other.
When we want you to love us, we want nothing more than to give the same to you.
Let us say, more clearly, what we have stumbled over in the past. . . .
Beloved, it’s not your job to do any of these things. If you choose them because you are powerful, joyful and truly want to, watch us rise to meet you in that place of power and joy.
It might not be quick. There are many protective layers on these hearts of ours. The world has been a pretty dangerous place at times. Please, be patient with us.
We are not your enemy. We are not against your powerful rising. We are a little confused, a lot overwhelmed, under-trained and maybe even a bit sad and lonely. Underneath all of that, is a beautiful human heart.
It’s a the heart of a man who longs to express love safely and protect his beloved.
It’s the heart of a man who hasn’t heard that he has done a good job in a long time.
It’s the heart of a man who, in quiet moments, feels as lost, scared and on the verge of tears as any woman.
Beloved, It’s not your job to heal us. It’s not your job to do sweet or dirty things or loving things for us. If you want us to rise, if you want our shoulders to broaden, if you want us to be the brave warrior you see us capable of being, then deeply root yourself into the same power that is in the molten core of the earth, clear your throat and project your voice with your clearest “Yes” and “No” like the goddess warrior you are.
Come to us in in the strength of your own love and you will inspire us to straighten our own spine, open our eyes just a bit wider, crack a smile, and get to work loving you with all of the passion and drive we can muster.